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I had to y'all. I couldn't take it anymore, I just straight out said to him, 'it seems like racism to me.' I mean, it really does. He, like another police officer, compared the "migrant problem" in Hungary to the issue with the Mexican/U.S. border. Hmmmm, there is a border there, yes. Individuals do enter illegally there and there us massive hate shown towards the Mexican population because of this. Yes. That still doesn't make it right or take the sting and stench of racism and prejudice from the actions of those in power in Hungary. It's wrong, on both accounts, from both countries. Yes, we in The States are wrong for the way we treat many individuals. I have a very unique perspective in all of this. I am from The States, yes; but, I am also still considered a minority there. In Hungary, the racism is more overt, directly in your face, everyday. In both the U.S. and Hungary, I am seen as "The other." At this point in my life, I don't care what people think, I can't afford to. (As I'm writing this, a group of bebe kids and their guardians have entered the bar. Why, Jesus, why? My phone is charging near them. Lord Jesus, if they crack or break that phone...anxiety, BE GONE!!! Anywho, they've moved away from the phone now. Whew. They've gone and sat down in the next room. Thank you LordT, yes, the "T" is absolutely necessary. I'm sitting here waiting or the phone to charge to one-hundred percent. Hopefully, I can wait that long. I've waited a little over seven years, at this point, to get worn out by my twin flame, I can wait an hour or so for the phone to charge. Back to the original post ☺). Yes, it bothers me, all the staring, staring and staring, the stupid questions (yes, they do exist), the rudeness, all of it bothers me. Sometimes people ask me how I can go from place to place, country to country, with "no attachments." This isn't one of those stupid questions, this is a semi-ignorant assumption. I do have attachments, friends, family, those I care about; I don't feel "at home" anywhere. THIS is how I'm able to keep moving, I haven't found home yet. Yes, I do believe I will find "home," whatever that means. It may be a place, a person, an animal, I don't know. Is there a thought in the back of my mind, sometimes I the front, that I won't ever find home? Yes, absolutely. That doesn't stop me from moving forward. You know, I told myself that if this man I approached wasn't the one, I would stay celibate, forever. I may, I don't know. I do know that I'll only make love to the person that is meant for me. I'm okay waiting. The reason why it's so sad for me now is because I honestly thought he was for me, with every effort I made and with all the obstacles I overcame to simply get to him, to see him; I was sure he was the one. He didn't and still doesn't know me but I felt a strong connection to him. After spending some time alone to work through this experience, I realize that it was a sense of "home" that drew me to him. I was so sick and tired of being treated like an outsider, no one understanding me and my journey. I saw someone who was familiar with black history and wouldn't stare, poke and prode at "the black woman." Upon researching him, I noticed that we have a lot in common and I felt the Universe was guiding me in his direction...but, it didn't go the way I assumed it would. He has someone and I left once he admitted this. Why he agreed to meet me for drinks, I won't ever know. Why he didn't tell me he had a girlfriend as soon as I told him I was looking forward to seeing him, is beyond me. It would have been a simple thing to do. Instead, he responded that he was "sorry" and was "busy these days" days before admitting he had "a girlfriend he's in love with." He should have told the truth from the very beginning, when I asked him out. He didn't. Yes, I did extend my stay to wait for someone who barely knew of my existence. I would do it again if I felt I should. That's me. I am very proud of myself for taking this leap of faith towards "home." Wherever it is. Tammi