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Thank You To My Selves

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Yes, thank you Tammi in-the-present-moments, Tammi of-past-moments and Tammi waiting-in-future-moments. Specifically, Tammi in-the-present-moments is the muse for this post; currently, staying in a guesthouse with flashing Christmas lights intruding into my privacy through transparent curtains on one side of the room and an individual who has phone calls at eleven at night. As the curtains are see-through, I've put a sheet up over the cover to give myself privacy but this has blocked out the sunlight which I need. Now, my mood has negatively shifted and my appetite has decreased. The plan was to make today a semi-fasting day (I fast daily for sixteen hours) eating only fruit and nutrition bars but after the noise of last night/this morning (in addition there was drilling around noon time), my motivation has also decreased (though I exercised a bit this morning🌞). So, I sat here, in this chair (that I also use for exercising my abs) waiting, waiting for something...
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I Remember The Times: Travelling Through The Balkans As A #woc

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It is what it is. Being a woman of color travelling alone through The Balkans, through Europe, is not nearly what I thought it would be, wanted it to be. Nature here is more than breathtaking, though at times the wind blowing really does take your breath away. Nature here is powerful, humbling, nurturing. I have learned so much about myself, how I am, why I think the way I do, my fears, my intense thoughts, my ever-changing disdain for willful ignorance amongst individuals. It's true, it's sad, it's reality. People are ignorant, we all are, I am. What makes their ignorance rage-inducing is the fact that many of them love this ignorance, love to bask in the warmth and comfortability of their prolonged and willful ignorance. But their vibe is also giving "accept whatever you can get." Some months ago I had a conversation with someone who stated that I may have to get with someone that is short and fat. Is it possible that the person meant specificall...
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Kindness, Touch and Disrespected Boundaries: My Experiences in Shkodër, Albania

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Each one of these incidincies on their own could have been insignificant little happenings; however, their totality opened my eyes to the ways in which we unknowingly and consciously hurt/harm and/or cause uneasiness in others.
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~ 20:00 24 September 2023

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Here I am,(https://youtube.com/shorts/F81HTuRJLjQ?si=LFksfj0H0XZDMHv7) resting in my tent across from Kameni Zamak Restaurant. A male and a female came over to the tent and asked if I wanted to eat. I said I wasn't hungry. The male then went behind my tent to relieve himself and the woman said, "mangiare" to which I laughed and decided to come out the tent and have a tea. I needed to get dressed and when I finally crossed the street to the restaurant, I saw a balding male coming towards me. I asked him if he was the one who asked me if I wanted a "caj" (tea); he answered yes and led me to sit at a table outside (semi-outside, it was sheltered on three sides but the doors were open and it was like sitting outside). He spoke to the young lady and asked her for a "zeleni caj" as I had respnded to his question. In the meantime, the balding male insisted on asking me repeatedly if I were "zena or muskarac" "woman or...
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I'm Done: Viszlát Hungary

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That day in Asotthalom and Öttömos was disappointingly realistic. My experience in Hungary with many "white" Hungarians has shown me time and time again, that hate is acceptable here, the norm. Yes, hate is everywhere and can be displayed in a variety if individuals the world round. I, am in Hungary; I've been coming here, living even for over thirteen years. What happens in Hungary was very relevant to my life, me. Today marks the day where, when, I no longer allow it to matter to me. Again, I know, this will prove a point for them, to a point. "We're a small country, no one knows or cares about us." Well, someone dis, for over thirteen years and that someone is now spiritually, emotionally and physically through, finished, done, complete, out. I can't express with enough emphasis the many times, the mountains of effort I've given and spent to prove some sort of loyalty to Hungary. I'm done. The increasing hate and willful ig...
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They Will Never Know

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Currently I am sitting in Korzó Étterem in Baja, Hungary. I'm here because I went to another place to eat (on route 55) and was denied entry. From everything I understood the male was saying, it was because my stomach was uncovered (photo of my outfit below). Now that I've had time to think about the encounter, I understand that sometimes, there is a dress code. I've visited other csardas in Hungary; they are like rest-stop restaurants. Never once have I gotten the vibe that there was a dress code, especially given that the male who denied me entry was wearing jeans and a t-shirt 🤔 At this point, I expect this type of behavior. Yesterday, I went to handle some business, something particular I've done before, in Hungary. Well, this time the female individual told me, after I handed her my U.S. passport, that I neded an address card; this is absolutely not true. My presence, my look, the color of my skin, my willingness to sacrifice everythi...
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Location: Hungary
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I had to y'all. I couldn't take it anymore, I just straight out said to him, 'it seems like racism to me.' I mean, it really does. He, like another police officer, compared the "migrant problem" in Hungary to the issue with the Mexican/U.S. border. Hmmmm, there is a border there, yes. Individuals do enter illegally there and there us massive hate shown towards the Mexican population because of this. Yes. That still doesn't make it right or take the sting and stench of racism and prejudice from the actions of those in power in Hungary. It's wrong, on both accounts, from both countries. Yes, we in The States are wrong for the way we treat many individuals. I have a very unique perspective in all of this. I am from The States, yes; but, I am also still considered a minority there. In Hungary, the racism is more overt, directly in your face, everyday. In both the U.S. and Hungary, I am seen as "The other." At this point in...
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